Out of This World Mind & Body

To start, I have been going to therapy for over a year now. I have been sorting emotions and learning to embrace them. For the most part I didn’t realize that I was doing things that were considered “people pleasing” I have discovered that I was pretty much raised to show happiness and that other emotions weren’t to be shown. If you had other emotions, you hide them and boy did I do that well. The amount of overthinking I do is absurd, and sometimes when I’m thinking of that unknown future of what could be, I am also putting myself in that emotion or what I believe to be that emotion will be when it happens. It causes anxiety for me and that’s rough to navigate at times.

I am recognizing the moments where I know the overthinking is happening. I know I need to talk about how I’m feeling or what is making me anxious. In my mind, if I speak about it enough I can get over it, however it only makes me obsess over whatever the scenario maybe. Then the emotions come in, thus leading to anxiety building up. I have my moments still and I know I can’t just “fix away” this anxiety or the way my brain thinks. I just need to approach it different, and by it, I mean the overthinking.

It’s a process that is hard, I finished my first semester of college courses. Passed them both with A’s and I’m one step closer to dental hygienist. When it came to my chemistry finale, I was confident going in, with some nerves mixed in. Waiting for the grades to update had me impatient and I was fixating on it. I could have processed it two ways.

The first, being to overthink and believe that I failed, which would snowball into thoughts of “why am I wasting my time?” “I’m dumb.” and “Is this hard work worth it?” All are very good questions to think but it would spiral further and make me upset, anxious, nervous, doubtful. All the adjectives that resemble sadness and fear.

The second, being how I did with it. Just go in with the confidence. Believe I can I do it, and just wait for my grade. Surely I could not fixate and log into my portal 4 times in one day. However I am grateful and happy that I didn’t spiral from this. Emotions are complexed and when you start to understand why you are feeling a certain way, there’s clarity to it.